To bond: Take care of each other. ISTJ will go for small gestures like taking out the trash—INTJ will want to help ISTJ with bigger things, like their 5-year plan. Be careful with: Communication. ISTJ might focus on small details, while INTJ thinks about the future. When you two have important discussions, put phones away and listen closely to your partner to stay in sync.
To bond: Quiz each other on movies, books, and albums. Both of you will be fascinated about how your partner thinks. Be careful with: Making plans. INTP prefers to wing it, while INTJ is all about their day planner. Try to meet in the middle when you can.
To bond: Give each other space, then come back together. For instance, enjoy your freedom during the day, then come together for a nice dinner at night. Be careful with: Inflexibility. You two both fully expect to have your own way, but to make things work, compromise will need to be the norm.
To bond: Express your gratitude. You two have the power to change one another for the better, and that’s more likely to happen if you validate your parnter’s efforts. Be careful with: Routine. If you’re always going to gatherings or always skipping them, someone’s bound to feel unsatisfied. Try to strike a balance!
To bond: Share secrets. You two are empathetic and loyal—knowing that you can trust your partner will only deepen your bond. Be careful with: Communication. INTJ will need to choose careful, sensitive phrasing and INFP will need to ease back on emotional deep dives.
To bond: Offer perspective during major life events. INTJ, encourage your INTJ to make a pro-con list. INFJ, help INTJ listen to their gut. Be careful with: Big changes. You two process major events differently, so be careful to appreciate your partner’s methods, not resent them.
To bond: Go to a concert or museum. The creative energy will put you two on the same wavelength, and great convo is sure to follow. Be careful with: Meeting your partner’s needs. ENTP, give your partner time alone when they ask. INTJ, focus on being flexible with plans.
To bond: Start a project together. You’ll love and appreciate what your partner brings to the table, which will leave you feeling close. Be careful with: Listening to your partner’s needs. For instance, INTJ should listen when their partner says they’re feeling sensitive and pull back.
To bond: Spend time apart. Satisfy personal needs that don’t jive with your partner’s and then enjoy connecting when you come together. Be careful with: Setting routines. Regularly give in to one partner’s scheduling preferences, and the other will feel unfulfilled. Compromise instead!
To bond: Prioritize your partner’s interests. ESTP, read up on INTJ’s intellectual interests, and INTJ, invest in friendships with ESTP’s circle. Be careful with: Discussion. You two are very different at heart, so honesty and open dialogue will be important to really understand each other.
To bond: Focus on the values and goals that unite you. Are you both looking to rise the ranks in your career? Great, then help each other out! Be careful with: The beginning of your relationship. You two might have to work to find your footing, but be patient—down the line, you’ll align well.
To bond: Carve out time to connect. Though you organize your lives differently, your one-on-one time, will probably feel magical. Be careful with: Miscommunication. Your values and deep-seated habits might be at odds, so talk about your dating goals early on to make sure you’re aligned.
Seek to understand each other and appreciate, don’t demonize, your differences. The closer you two get, the more you’ll be able to enjoy the ways you’re not alike. Do activities together that both of you enjoy. Making time to cultivate your friendship helps with connection and bonding, thereby contributing to great long-term compatibility. INTJ, open up emotionally to ISFP to help them feel connected. This may be tough for you, but the reward is worth it. ISFP, allow INTJ to come to you for serious discussions. Feelings might stress them out, so they’ll appreciate discussing on their own terms.
Your daily routines probably line up well—so lean into this. Take fascinating courses together, stay in on weekends, and give each other plenty of space. INTJ, give ISFJ space when they’re upset. Like you, they need time alone to process, and this will make them feel safe with you. ISFJ, gently encourage INTJ to express their feelings. As a super empathetic person, you’re great at guiding people through tough chats. Couples who demonstrate that they care about how each other feels have great long-term compatibility. Expressing care, compassion, comfort, and support when your partner is suffering helps build a strong relationship!
You two might have tons of overlapping interests, even as opposite types—you may follow similar teams, listen to the same artists, or read the same books. If you’re looking for common ground, focus on that! INTJ, work to make ESFPs life more comfortable and organized. You can help them a ton in this area, changing their life for the better. ESFP, show INTJ that life is about more than rules and order. Read them poetry and encourage them to open up when they’re willing. Couples with less rigidity and more flexibility will have good long-term compatibility in this partnership. These couples tend to be more willing to compromise, which creates a good-feeling atmosphere in the relationship.
To make this matchup work, wait it out. You may not connect straight away, but you love to structure your lives in a similar way; this’ll be a great point of connection as your romance develops. INTJ, in the gentlest way possible, help ESFJ identify their goals. Then, follow up. Chat about what they want, then take those desires seriously. ESFJ, bring INTJ to your next big gathering. Take them around the party and introduce them to pals, but respect it when they’re ready to leave.
You’re unlikely to catch an INTJ hiding things from you, as they’d prefer everything be out in the open. If you have plans with INTJ, they’ll consider them ironclad. Forgotten dates and rain checks will be a thing of the past. INTJs are great in a crisis, too—if you run into trouble, this is the kind of partner who’ll stick by your side.
If there’s an issue in your relationship, INTJs will try their best to fix it (feel like they’re not communicating? INTJ will work to change). [18] X Research source They’re unlikely to flounder around when it comes to big commitments. INTJs are decisive people, and they hate wasting time.
If you tell an INTJ that you had a bad day, they won’t drop it—they’ll want to hear the whole story, start to finish. INTJs will be especially interested in your goals and aspirations, so have that 5-year plan at the ready. INTJs will also want to know your friends and family well—that way, they’ll get a better sense of what makes you, you!
If you’re having negative feelings about the relationship, INTJ will want to talk about it fully, not sweep it under the rug. INTJ won’t be passive aggressive when they’re feeling hurt, they’ll probably come right out with it so you two can find a solution. Communication is what allows relationships to fight through changes and struggles—so INTJs tend to make great long-term partners.
A lot of INTJs actually find self-sufficiency attractive. So if you’re comfortable handling things on your own, they’ll love that. [21] X Research source INTJs won’t want you two to be attached at the hip—if you’re making plans for every night of the week, they might not be satisfied. Healthy relationships leave room for personal goals and experiences, so in this way, INTJs create great partnerships naturally.
Healthy debates are a must in INTJs relationships. Does free will exist? Is social media bad for mental health? They’d love to discuss. An INTJ will probably want to bond over intellectual activities, like book and film clubs.
They’d probably love to create mutual goals you can work hard at together (like a mutual financial target, for instance). INTP will show up for all of your big nights—showcases, competitions, award ceremonies, you name it—with bells and whistles on. Whether it’s buying you sticky notes or helping you make a business plan, they’ll likely go out of their way to help you.
