The longer answers explain revolves around how the definition of “virgin” may mean many things to different people. These answers also make clear that sexual activity is expressed in many ways too. That’s why you may still run the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STI).
This article provides detail on how STIs might happen, even if you and/or a partner feel that virginity protects you. It will help you to limit your risk with information you can trust.
Varying Definitions of Virginity
Often, the term “virgin” describes anyone who has not had sexual intercourse. People feel they are a virgin if their sexual activity does not involve what’s called penetration.
This definition considers only sex with the penis placed in the vagina or anus. Yet oral sex, or skin-to-skin genital contact, may already be a part of their sexual experience.
Other people may think that virginity means never having had any sexual contact. This may even be true of you, but that is not at all what everyone’s idea of virginity means.
The definition of a virgin may change based on the social or cultural group. This is especially true if the assumptions are heteronormative, which views heterosexuality as normal and fails to consider same-sex or other encounters in the full range of experiences.
In reality, sexual activity varies in terms of interaction and possible STI exposure. Body parts and objects during any sexual encounter may include:
PenisVaginaMouthAnusFingersSex toys
Sexual activity also may be different based on whether it is female-male, male-male, or female-female. Any and all of these encounters involve risk factors that may lead to an STI.
What all of this means is that there are many variables that affect how people classify what it means to be a virgin. Simply being told by a partner that they are one tells you little about their real risk profile.
STI Transmission
Sexually transmitted infections are passed from person to person in a variety of ways. Many are quite common.
Transmission Through Blood or Birth
Some people are exposed to their mother’s STIs during pregnancy or birth. It is also possible to become infected with diseases, such as human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), through nonsexual risk behaviors. For example, injection drug use is a risk factor for most bloodborne diseases.
Genital Skin-to-Skin Contact
Intimate activities often include genital skin-to-skin contact. This contact can transmit genital herpes, syphilis, and human papillomavirus (HPV). The organisms that cause these infections can be present in sores or warts on the skin, even if a person has no symptoms. They also may be found in fluids that come from the penis or vagina.
Oral Transmission
Oral herpes infects many people through casual contact. It may be in the saliva in your mouth after you kiss a family member or share eating and drinking utensils. This infection can then be spread to the genitals through oral sex.
Other STIs that can be transmitted through oral sex when you’re not using a condom include:
Chlamydia Gonorrhea Syphilis
The route of transmission works both ways. Someone with an infected anus or genitals can spread the infection to a partner’s mouth or throat during oral sex. Left untreated, the same infection can then be passed on again, or even passed back to the same person’s genitals.
Anal Transmission
STIs can be spread through sex without condom use. The viruses, bacteria, and parasites that cause STIs can infect the anal and rectal tissues, just as they do through vaginal sex.
STIs that are spread through the blood, such as HIV and hepatitis, also are a risk when sex is without physical protection.
Shared-Object or Fingering Transmission
Fingering, or contact between the hand and the anus or genitals, can spread HPV. In fact, a number of STIs also can be spread by sharing an inserted sex toy or object without cleaning it well between uses and partners.
The STIs that can be transmitted this way include:
HIV Chlamydia Herpes Syphilis Trichomoniasis Hepatitis B Hepatitis C Bacterial vaginosis (BV)
Pregnancy Risk
Contrary to popular myth, people can get pregnant the first time they engage in sexual activity. Having penile-vaginal sex without the use of contraception, even once, can result in pregnancy.
Summary
Sexual activity isn’t limited to penetrative sex and virginity is defined in different ways. There are many possible sexual encounters that raise the risk of exposure to an STI.
One of the most common ways for an STI to spread is through oral sex. But anal sex, the use of sex toys, or even simple skin-to-skin contact may lead to an STI if the partners don’t use protection.
Keep in mind that pregnancy is possible too, even when partners are virgins and having penetrative sex for the very first time.
Ask them to share their sexual history with you and share yours with them. Use an external (or internal) latex condom, or a polyurethane one if either of you is allergic to latex. Use a dental dam for oral sex. Don’t have sex while drinking alcohol or using recreational drugs that might inhibit your judgment.
