Carter’s improbable success abroad only cast a harsher light on the dreary progress of the American presidential campaign at home. Bob Dole duly won the COP nomination; the experts declared his selection “a lock” only three days after the New Hampshire primary. He and Bill Clinton then engaged in a prolonged and peevish sparring match that shrank both of them in the public’s estimation. On Nov. 5, Clinton won narrowly–in a record low turnout. Trying to reignite enthusiasm, the president began a series of weekly TV appearances in which he chatted with ordinary citizens about their lives. Gradually it dawned on Americans that the presidency had turned into a talk show. Ratings were not high.
But the stock market kept soaring. Internet-related shares split and split again, though there was a brief pause in April when a new company called Giganetrics turned out to exist only in the imaginations of two high-school seniors in Decatur, Ill. Even after this news, Giganetrics stock rose 26 points in two days before sinking into oblivion. The Dow Jones average hit 6000 by Easter.
The Wall Street frenzy inspired the creation of bizarre new financial instruments. The graduating class at the Harvard Business School announced what it called “salary futures.” It offered shares in the next 20 years. The stock was so heavily subscribed that each Harvard M.B.A. came away with a cheek for $1 million. A survey showed that, for the first time, the number of new millionaires exceeded the number of Americans slipping below the poverty line.
The ruthless ways of American capitalism were widely denounced abroad, though less so in places in close contact with them. Tuzla, the city in Bosnia where U.S. troops were stationed during the year, opened eight new movie theaters, 26 new bars, two entire streets ofT-shirt shops and a thriving compact-disc factory. The wife of Li Peng, the hard-line communist prime minister of China, was discovered to have made $825,000 in Citibank stock.
Boris Yeltsin did not run again for president of Russia. As the June elections neared, he had sunk to 23d in the polls, just below the leader of a green-haired rock group from Yakutsk. He announced that he had been asked to start a talk show on the NBC-Microsoft all-news channel.
Medical research made dramatic advances. Scientists discovered that ordinary water, when drunk in large quantities (at least four gallons a day), helps prevent baldness, jet lag and carpal-tunnel syndrome. This produced acute water shortages in many cities, not only from the extra water consumed but also from many additional toilet flushings. Exercise was found to be most beneficial when confined to either the left or right side of the body-the principle of “dynamic imbalance,” this was called. The discovery led to numerous injuries from falls during unbalanced workouts.
The Atlanta Olympics were disrupted by totally unforeseen controversies. The Romanian women’s gymnastics team was led by a girl of only 6, leading to complaints of child exploitation, especially when the finals were scheduled after bedtime. The Chinese swimmers slathered their bodies in a fish oil that reduced something called “water drag” but suffused the Olympic pool with a pungent odor that couldn’t be eliminated. The Japanese baseball team had to withdraw when it was found that seven of them, in hopes of becoming the next Nomo, had secretly signed major-league contracts. The French athletes smoked on camera.
The glitter of celebrity continued to dazzle a jaded world. Madonna, having advertised for a man to father her child, let it be known that she had chosen Anthony Quinn. Quinn let it be known that she could do the job herself, or words to that effect. O. J. Simpson started dating Tonya Harding. Murphy Brown announced that the father of her child was Dan Quayle, which he pointed out could not be true “since she is not a real person and I am.” A teary Queen Elizabeth announced that her youngest son, Prince Edward, had decided to immigrate to Australia and change his name to Rollie. The Princess of Wales was seen at more and more New York charity events, often in the company of John F. Kennedy Jr. What, she was asked, were her plans for the future? Diana replied that she would rather like to run a talk show.
