Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe: Word is she’s got a new man, and his name’s Oscar.
Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn: Next time try starring in a movie called “The Devoted Couple.”
Hilary Swank and What’s His Name: At least she didn’t spill any of his secrets on her way out.
Pam Anderson and Kid Rock: Of all the splits, this one, frankly, left us stunned.
Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown: “And I-eee-I will not always love you … "
Paul McCartney and Heather Mills: No one is stopping her from getting that antique bedpan now.
Suri Cruise: A silent birth, a strange name–the bizarre TomKat legacy continues. At least the proud parents finally let us see what their girl looks like.
Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt: Not to be outdone, Brangelina unearths a exotic name, too. And an even more exotic hospital–in Namibia.
Kingston Rossdale: Kids really do make nice accessories. Fashion plate (and rock star) Gwen Stefani brings Kingston with her wherever she goes.
David Banda: Controversy boiled up when Madonna adopted a baby from Malawi. For now, anyway, she’s been granted temporary custody.
Dannielynn Stern: Anna Nicole Smith’s son, Daniel, died three days after her daughter was born. Almost as sad: two men fight over who’s the dad.
Farrah Fawcett: The blonde angel battled cancer, but not alone. Ryan O’Neal is back at her side.
Tiger Woods: The golf great’s dad, biggest fan, best friend and coach passed away in May.
Bindi and Terri Irwin: Amazingly self-possesed Bindi won hearts as the world mourned her ‘Crocodile Hunter’ father.
Tori Spelling: Her father left a $300 million estate, and poor Tori hardly took home a million. That’ll teach her to mock mom.
Teri Hatcher: Bravely spoke out about abuse she suffered when she was a girl.
Lindsay Lohan: Let’s see: eeny (rehab), meeny (exhaustion), miney (“adequite”), moe (bad daddy)
Dustin Diamond: A.k.a. Screech. We miss the good old days when K-list celebs just ate worms on TV instead of making a sex tape.
Nicole Richie: Eating disorders and DUIs are not funny. Not at all.
Mel Gibson: Made another movie in an obscure language. Silly Mel, when will he learn? Otherwise he had a quiet year. Next.
Michael Richards: There are two acceptable conditions for using the N word: You are black and you are funny. He is neither.
David Hasselhoff: Sorry, Hoff, the only time we sliced our neck open shaving was when we were smashed. What’s your excuse again?
Star Jones: It’s the golden rule of television: do unto Barbara Walters exactly as Barbara Walters tells you to do unto her. Got it? Not even Payless will have you now.
Paris Hilton: Rather than a recap–we just can’t bear any more–let’s try a metaphor: if bad behavior were football, her jersey would be retired.
Lance Bass: The boy-band alum finally got ‘N Sync with his sexuality.
Neil Patrick Harris: Who cares if he’s gay? He’ll always be Doogie Howser to us.
T. R. Knight: He’s out, and he still gets to sleep with all the hot chicks on “Grey’s Anatomy.”
Mark Foley: No one wants that kind of solicitation from their congressman, least of all the GOP.
Clay Aiken: Is he gay? He won’t say. But Rosie O’Donnell sure thinks he is.
